Alright, on my last post I promised celebrity goodness. So, without further ado, here's what you've anticipated (thanks, again, Jami, for this fantastic cover!)


Marilyn and Frank and Dean and Sammy OH MY! Who is making off with Marilyn? I'm dying to know!

This cover is so fantastic, I'm about to pee my pants. First of all, I LURVE me some Frank Sinatra (his voice practically makes me orgasm, not that you needed to know that). Also, I just watched my favorite Marilyn Monroe movie, Some Like it Hot. (I have a serious jones for Tony Curtis and his glasses and cheesy Cary Grant impression in that movie. Well, I also have the hots for Cary Grant, but I digress.)

Oh, how I'm loving this cover. I like the way Marilyn is laughing flirtatiously, and gripping Mystery Boy's head. I love the way the Rat Pack is walking, Frank in front, Deano and Sammy just behind. I enjoy the font on "SOMEBODY KILLS YOU", but I think my absolute favorite thing is the target of the O right in the middle of the guy's back. Somebody's going to shoot him!

Apparently, there's a whole series of these Rat Pack mysteries with song references and such (I'm full of mirth just thinking about it), so I'll be hunting down more of these covers soon. :D

Stay tuned for more Rat Pack-y goodness!

Another great title

This is another cover from Jami, and another Hard Case Crime! Where do I begin? There is so much awesome on this cover.

We have:

• The title. Me, being apparently more innocent than I thought I was, had to look up what "pasties" are. For anyone who may not know (which you probably all do, but whatever), they're basically stickers that strippers put over their nipples.
  
• A really cool Dutch angle shot.
  
• A sexy, curvy brunette in red lingerie.
  
• A redhead! With a somewhat deformed torso. Wearing pasties, I assume.
  

Pause. For a corpse, she seems very alive. I assume she's the corpse because she's the one wearing the titular (har!) pasties. I assume this scene is moments before that brunette murders that redhead. I want to know why!!! Did Red sleep with her husband?

I like the author's name and the little title under it. "Jonny Porkpie: Burlesque Mayor of New York City". I was not aware there was such a thing as a Burlesque Mayor.

I don't really get the tagline. "Sometimes There's No Difference Between the Naked and the Dead". First of all, it always bugs me when every word is capitalized for no reason, but also, what is that even supposed to mean? Yes, sometimes naked people are dead...I suppose....


Anyway, stay tuned for some celebrity-goodness in the future. ;D

My homegirl Jami has sent me more wonderful covers! A lot of good ones. I love Hard Case Crime covers because they're easily snarkable, yet pretty and likable. I snark a Hard Case cover out of affection, not because they're actually bad. :)


"Never Before Published!" Well, that's a surprise. :P

Question: where are they? There are terra cotta tiles, stairs, and pottery. And a big gold doorway. I can't figure out where they are.

"Uhhh...sorry miss....woah..."

The Last Match, eh? "Steve, I already told you, stop trying to set me up with the weirdos you find on eHarmony."

I like her ponytail and her man-shirt. What's with the off-the shoulder thing? Is she flashing those guys some boob?

Her left hand on her lower back makes me think she's either pregnant, or suffering from some sort of back injury.

Is it me, or is that guy on the right gay? He is totally gay. Look at his arm! And the way his shirt is tucked into his jeans.

Aaaanyway....sorry for the choppy-ness of the post. I'm pretty tired, I had to wake up at an ungodly hour this morning. :)


Coming in the future are covers featuring awesome titles and celebrities. Stay tuned. Thanks for the covers, Jami! You're the best.

Eh, I give up

My page is boring again. I gave up. I'll just have to dazzle with my cutting wit, not my flashy blog template.

Anyhoodles, the following cover is rather different than the ones I've been talking about lately. I usually make fun of covers I find ugly, stupid, etc, but I'm going to talk about an interesting one I came across while browsing one day.


Love it. I really do. It's simple. So many covers have way too much crap on them, or look like too many other covers out there.

I love everything about this. The Mr. Hyde-esque silhouette, the blurred effect that creates a dark aura around the form, the faint, shadowy building in the background. The scrolly font with the bloody red underlining. The ambiguous, one-word title. This cover does what a cover should do. If I was in a store and saw this, I'd immediately pick it up to see what it was about. It's eye-catching, yet subtle.

I shuffled over to amazon to read a description, dying to know what this book is about. It's about Charles Dickens "dark final days"...I recommend following the link, clicking on the "see inside this book" thing, and reading the front inside flap.

The blurb makes two things about the book stand out to me, one being that it's about Charles Dickens, and one being that it is a very dark book. This cover perfectly captures that, as a cover should. It represents what is inside without giving anything away. Sexy.

Love it love it love it.

Twitter?

Can someone please explain to me how twitter works? I have joined the dark side by signing up for it, and I have no idea what I'm doing. Maybe I'm just not meant to tweet.

Help? I'm really confused. The above tweet is not mine, so naturally, I'm baffled.

A Doozie...Two, in Fact

OK, so first, before I get to the snarky goodness, does anyone have any suggestions for how my page should look? I'm really bad at the whole blog decor thing. Now it looks like crap, and I'm too lazy to look at templates and color schemes to fix it. If anyone has some good ideas, I'm all ears.


Now, onto the fun stuff:


I found this at the thrift store today, and the title for some reason made me laugh, and I liked the cover, too. Then, while searching for images of said cover, I discovered the updated, newer version of the cover. I will snark on both, because, why not? Feast your eyes...

Please tell me someone else thinks it would have been even better if the picture had been of his ass. Come on, don't play that game. You love a cheesy pun as much as I do.

So, as you can see, the cover is kind of meh...overly muscular golden-tanned faceless torso...although the little bit I can see of his chin is kind of hot (yes, there is such a thing as a hot chin. Don't judge me!)

Dying to know what this could possibly be about, I made a trip to the fiction database for a blurb. I recommend you follow the link and take a peek. The storyline is preposterously over-the-top (hint: Mr. Hyde's "mad-scientist brother" uses his "assets" to get some random heiress pregnant). The first sentence of the summary is "Rugged Austin Hyde was up to his brawny biceps in a bizzare situation." We get it, he's a beefcake. Who likes to alliterate.

Anyway, the older cover is pretty blah. Then I came across the newer cover. Behold the following atrocity:



Yikes. Who wants to see this? Ever? Pasty. Hairless. At a gross angle. He looks like he's about to fall into the pool. No wonder he's laying out in the sun - that bird definitely needs to brown a little longer. And what's with the legs? They're smoother than mine! To be fair, I haven't shaved in a couple days, but really? Lay of the Nair, dude.

And he looks so...uncomfortable. Maybe because he's reclining in a really odd place. It took me a moment to figure out where the heck he was, but he's at a swimming pool, on the ledge between the pool and the stairs. What a strange place to go tanning in your boxer-briefs (correct me, fellas, if I'm wrong about the underwear type).

It's so WEIRD. I can't stop staring! The angle! Who is taking a picture of Whitey McWaxedLegs at that angle?! Where did his golden-bronze tan go?

Yeah...

You may have noticed that my page looks different (and not very good). I was playing around with the look of my page in the middle of the night. I'm not crazy about how it looks right now, so bear with me. I got too tired to fix it and went to bed. I'll deal with it later.

In the meantime, feel free to read the new cover I posted! It's pretty frightening, so hold on to your hats!

-Lyndee